Memoirs of Madness~33

And so the weeks continue to slowly move by and the nights become increasingly easy to bear. I have friends and a pooch to fill my time and direct my thoughts in a whole other place. Don't get me wrong, I still think of Wyatt on an occasional basis, how could I not. But it has become so much easier to bear. Maltease is nothing short of amazing in his training, which I have decided to keep from everyone and anyone, he will be own secret weapon, an unsuspected surprise to any demon who will or should think they can simply pop in anytime they please. I am more sure with each passing day, that wherever Wyatt found him, he is more than just a mere canine with higher than average intelligence. And as fun as it has been to train him, I still pass much time with Shara as I can. She reminds much of myself in my darker days where I everything made no sense and nothing mattered. Days where I walked around in an alcoholic daze because I couldn't deal with who or what I had become. Not that Shara is an alcoholic, that title belongs to me, but she has found other ways to feed her inner demons.  I do try spending a little time with Sky as well because despite everything between us, I do value his friendship, but I feel something growing again between us and so I continue to see him as little as I can to avoid such complications. I think Kyra senses these emotions between us still and feels helpless to stop them. I have caused enough pain and it would do well for me to live life on my own terms and not worry about another relationship until I am settled and sure of what I want. And my dearest Willa. If ever there was anyone who aspired to be like me and to constantly either be in trouble, or have trouble chase them down, it is her and I love her to the very depths of every trouble making moment she had. Not to say that any other friend I have is less or more than Willa. But one has many friends who serve different purposes in your life and I love each one of them as dearly as I love the next. They are the ones to keep me real, keep me grounded, and give me that small kick in the ass when I start losing myself in any kind of darkness. The weeks have been filled with a drunken strip poker game with Willa and words of despair as she worries over her boobs never growing, not that the ones I have are anything short of small to begin with. There was another night of skinny dipping in Jared Padalecki's pool, which I led her to believe would be great if we could pull it off and not get caught for trespassing. Poor girl almost had a heart attack when we got and then realized how Jared and I have met before and are old friends. Hey, I have helped a lot of people and have far more connections than anyone would ever imagine. Ah, then the piece de resistance! The best part of the past few weeks was crashing a celebrity party, all dolled up, and mingling like we were hot shit. And people were none the wiser for any of it. We fit in perfectly, of course until we started drinking a bit much, but I don't mind. Some nights tend to be a blur in my life anyhow after too much drinking. Childish and immature? Maybe...maybe not, but it doesn't matter when we are enjoying ourselves, there is never any harm to anyone else and without her to keep my mind occupied with non serious stuff..I might still be on the road to damning myself again..