Memoirs of Madness~14

I made a huge decision today.
At least one that is significant for me. I have found a place to call home. It's a nice size place in a brick building that is oddly deceiving on the outside. I guess that is why it appeals to me, the idea that looks can be so misconstrued. How often we judge a book by its cover without understanding it's full potential. It looks like a two story building, but only houses a two bedroom loft type apartment upstairs with one other enormous room located across from it. The extra room could easily be turned into a spacious second apartment, but I will leave it for now until I am settled in. Whomever the previous owner was had used the second area as a photography studio of some sorts. Even the actual apartment itself adds another flair of mystery as it leads to what appears a third floor where there is the master bedroom and and bathroom, but that is all that is contained there. The best part of the place is that the living room opens up onto a balcony facing the ocean. The beach front is settled across the street from the building. Tonight is my first night here and I do not have much in the way of furniture, yet. But such creature comforts are not in such a high demand for someone like me. For now, I am satisfied with sitting in lounge chair with a cup of coffee, my pen and notebook in hand, and the ocean blowing it's cool breeze in my direction. So many things strike me as strange about this whole situation as I take some time to reflect. Yes, I know what I am and yes, I understand how this is not what humans think of when they dream of or picture demons roaming the earth. I seek to devour no one, unlike the one who created me when I sold my soul to him. I only seek to devour those of my kind who only do what they have been trained and taught to do. A traitor to my own kind, living a life among humans, witches, and others. I have come to realize I am not the only creature seeking something better than what I have been trained to do. Yes, I am satisfied for now, but happiness is still out of my reach. And it sits like something upon a shelf so very high up that no ladder can reach it, but yet you can see it. Like a piece of candy promised to a child if they behave. Yet the child can not seem to behave in exactly the perfect manner instructed to him or her. And yes, this is home, this city of San Francisco and this building I shall make my own. It was no surprise the Realtor was suspicious of me when I offered cash to buy the building out right. I was not interested in renting the place because then it would not be my own. A little extra cash went a long ways to quell her suspicions. Seems even the most noble can be bought with the right price. Just like selling your soul to the devil. I am not sure what made me ultimately decide that I would be staying. I am sure I can recite many reasons or maybe even lie to myself about the true reasons. The heart wants what the heart wants and if it can't have it, it will settle for being close to it. That is what I tell myself for at this point in time. But that is only part of it, I know I stay for Sky as well. He is the perfect gentleman in every way, the kind of guy, most women would sell their souls to have. He would make the perfect boyfriend and some day make some woman proud to call him husband. I am growing ever so slowly fond of him in more ways than one, but my heart still belongs to another. Though, it still lies with Wyatt...as I grow closer to Sky..it feels as if Wyatt slips further away. Our time between seeing each other or even talking grows further and further apart. And I try to put it out of my head...I try to move forward with some kind of life..but his face, his scent, and his voice haunts almost every moment of my life. A haunting I would never dare share with the rest of the world...