Maybe that is the closest I can come to the feeling I have lately. Life has settled into a bit of normalcy. At least what humans would call normal, more like what I call an amazing calm. But any calm that should present itself in my time of being usually leads to one hell of a storm. I have settled into a life with my shape shifter, Sky. This was one of the many things he kept to himself until he learned to trust me enough to open up to me. His story alone of hurt, physical and emotional is enough to bring me to tears. His resolve is so much stronger than mine. If people had treated me as he had been treated in his childhood, I would have made it my mission to destroy each and every one of them. For someone who has been through so much, his heart has the amazing capacity to love and embrace so much, of course with a touch of reserve. No one receives that much hurt without trust issues becoming a part of who you are. I have also met Shara, Sky's twin sister, whom has her own intense set of issues. She reminds me very much of myself, looking for trouble or trouble always finding her. She fights her "demons" with starving herself. I saw that the moment I actually started to get to know her. Though, I have this undeniably kinship towards, like that of a protective big sister over her younger sibling. She fights me too, trying to deny me any entrance into her heart or life. But I don't like the road she seems to be on of self destruction. A road I have traveled far too often, choosing to drink myself into an oblivion or engage in battles I would most likely lose. Somehow, I manage to come back from the brink of every time. Maybe, I have a greater purpose. If that is the case why can I not feel it, why do I still walk past a mirror without so much as a glance at myself. Sky is far more intuitive than I could ever give him credit for because he notices such subtle things about me. When I grow quiet he knows something is wrong, for talking is something I manage quite well. Truth be told I don't know how to shut up too often. He notices the blatant way I disregard my own reflection. I think the fact he takes time to notice these things is what endears me to him and yes, even possibly love him. I am still unsure of this most of all. As it was with Wyatt, it was like a ton of bricks dropped themselves upon me to announce the arrival of such emotions, but with Sky everything is much more subtle, things come slowly but surely. As with the way he makes love, deliberate and intentional, as if if every single moment is to be cherished and savored. I am an awful, horrible being. I know this from the depths of my heart for as the Owens endear themselves to me and I feel like I have a "family" for the first time in an extremely long time, my thoughts still drift to one person. I find myself always thinking of him, his memories constantly creeping in when they shouldn't. And as the days grow longer and further between since we have spoken or even seen each other, I know one thing for sure. I will never get over him getting over me...some piece of me will always remain broken because of that...
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