Memoirs of Madness~32

I have heard that time supposedly heals all wounds. I am not so sure about all of this. Maybe it lessens the pain or deadens it a bit, but I don't know that I can agree with a total healing. Though in my alone times it is still harder to deal with things, even weeks later, I am not so forlorn and on a path of self destruction. I have dived into helping Shara conquer some of her demons, leaving mine behind so they can rest and not drag me under so much and I am enjoying our closeness since she has moved into the apartment with me. I still have days where it is hard for me to comprehend her way of thinking or to try and keep her positive when I still feel like the ultimate pessimist, but I do try. And Sky, whom I try to keep my distance from these days, for all the hurt in the world I have caused him, pain I so clearly understand now..he still looks at me like he used to even though he is with Kyra. The look that somehow conveys I would still do anything for you. I think I stay away not only because Kyra and I don't seem to mix too well as friends, but also because the look scares the hell out of me. I don't want to be in a position again to either hurt someone or allow someone close enough to hurt me again. Not that I truly believe Sky would ever hurt me, but neither is going to hurt Kyra either by pushing her aside. It's not fair to him or her. Then there is Maltease, my ever faithful companion, the only one in the world who will not forsake me for another or tell me he is sorry for being by my side. I love this dog that I have grown attached to, this dog that grow like a damned weed every day and eats enough food for twenty puppies his size. But he has something special about him and I am discovering that slowly as I train him to be a good dog. Maltease is a hunter and I am not sure if this is by his given nature or there truly is something about him that is not of this world. And I came to comprehend this about him while we were on a run one night. It was a perfect quiet night along the beach with no one in sight and running in the sand is a better work out than running any where else.  choose to run here because of the peace it gives me and it wears me down at night so I can sleep. As we ran side by side, Maltease and I, he suddenly pulled up short with a growl deep in his throat, a growl I did not believe could come from such a happy go lucky pooch. He planted himself in an attack position right in front of me just before the electrical charge in the air hit and a demon popped into view. The demon was caught off guard Maltease just long enough to make the fight a short one. Now, I have been training him to hunt something more than rustling up game in the underbrush. I am not so sure anyone would believe me if I told them how well he has taken to hunting the things that go bump in the night. And let me not forget Willa, my partner crime, if ever I were to have one. This person has done more than anyone to try and truly give me what I need. Distraction after distraction and helped me to learn I don't have to suck it up, I just have to learn to try and move forward. I need an entire book to map out all of the adventures we have had in just this short amount of time. Oh, we are trouble together, that is for sure and i am not sure who influences who the most, or is more of a bad girl, but I know when we are together I can leave the seriousness behind and if I should happen to grow melancholy because something reminds me of him, she is right there to make me laugh or offer me another drink of vodka. I know I have said this before about someone else, but there is something definitely different when you feel that way about a lover and when you feel about that way about someone who has become your best friend...