Memoirs of Madness~50!!!!!!

OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD
..or whomever..this entire night has been surreal! I can't even begin to find the words to write or know where to even start. The right words do not exist in any language to begin to even reflect how I feel. The evening pretty much started off like any other, though I should have seen it, the way Wyatt was preoccupied with something. But, I left it alone at that time, I was simply glad to have some quiet time together and to talk like we used to about nothing in particular. The weather tonight was perfect for a walk to the park, though the threat of rain seemed to loom on the horizon. We walked hand in hand to that one place in the park. That one place where so many memories stood out like they had happened yesterday. The small play area to our left that I had once coerced Wyatt into sliding down the slide with me and to the right the open field where we had lied down to chat for seemingly hours, where I had first challenged him in hand to hand combat to show him he wasn't as tough as he thought he was. It seemed like this park was a place where things began and sometimes ended, but mostly it was memories of good times we had, emotional and physical. Wyatt guides me over to the field, still chatting away and suddenly he grows very quiet as we both stare out over the city lights that we see from here. His hand has left mine and I turn to see what has drawn him to such a silent place. The air leaves my lungs and I would swear to anyone who ever ask me. I couldn't breath. I was frozen to that spot and I could not breath as my eyes gazed upon the man I loved with everything, kneeling before me, a Ruby encrusted engagement ring displayed in a velvet box held open as he locked his gaze with mine. I know my knees went weak, but I held my ground as some of the most beautiful words left that man's lips over the next few moments. I say some only because the first time he said he loved me were the MOST beautiful. Nothing compares to those words, but these, this speech about how he feels and why he feels them..is a extremely close second. I have never seen him so open and so vulnerable as I did tonight. And as I sunk to my knees in front of him, there was only one word I could manage and I wouldn't be damned if it didn't come out in a small choked whisper. I think when these moments happen for women, they plan to answer in these strong dominant type voices, but it so hard when emotion over rides everything and all you can manage is a whispered yes between the tears and the moment you actually begin to breath again. I am getting married and I could not be any happier than I am in this very moment. It was hard to tear myself from my sleeping fiance's arms to write this evening, but how could I not write this all down? It is like how you must pinch yourself to make sure everything is real. And as he slipped the ring on my finger, his lips against mine, the rain came down. How very fitting for it to rain as we kiss, this man who has stolen my heart, the man who had given my first kiss in the rain, a man whom I had made love to in the rain before and did again on this very night. How I wish these words could jump off the page and convey all the happiness I feel. Not that I am so sure that anyone will ever read these thoughts that come from my head and onto paper, but if they ever did I would want them to see that giving up is never an option. What is meant to be is meant to be. And when you love someone..giving up on that love is never an option either. I know we still have obstacles to over come and life will not always be a bed of roses, but I love this man, he makes me feel alive, makes me hope for better things for myself, makes me love him more with each passing breath. For him alone would I pull the stars from the sky, die a thousand deaths, and search every lifetime for his soul in another just to be near him. I, Ruby, wanted demon, am not only carrying Wyatt's child...I am getting married to him as well! Whatever higher power is responsible for guiding lives, be it the fates, god, or someone else...thank you..for granting this demon, this woman her every waking wish and her every sleeping dream..