Memoirs of Madness~9

I have been trained and have learned very well, that as a woman, let alone a demon with acute senses..that you should always trust your instincts. Everything in me screamed that I was being followed the past couple of weeks, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. All I could guess was that it was a hunter, like that of the Winchester brothers. One would think that I would be outraged to know my own husband is having me followed. The son of a bitch can not bother with so much as a phone call, but can be sure to be in contact with someone to know about all my comings and goings. Yes, there is no doubt in my mind now. I came home two evenings ago to a slightly enraged man, one with pictures and proof that I had been hanging with a certain Halliwell. Pictures showing us being rather cozy with a kiss or two thrown in for good measure. I did not defend myself as Dean threw accusations my way, there was no need to lie about the situation. It was what it was and I honestly had not two fucks to give what Dean thought, until he stood in front of me fuming, demanding I stay away from Wyatt Halliwell. One can most assuredly rest that if I wasn't already hell's property, I would have been one this evening as I slowly shook my head, tossing the pictures back at him. There was no answer. I remained completely silent. In no way shape or form would I agree to never seeing Wyatt again, either as friends or something more. If this makes me a horrible person, then I accept the responsibility and everything it entails. I should at least get points for being truthful and, of course, the "physical" anger that ensued  as a result of my answer or lack there of. I never said I was an angel..ever. I got what I deserved, maybe I deserved worse than that, but there it is. And with that, Dean was gone again..that very night with no word on where we stood or what would happen between us now. Maybe, I had already decided that fate and no more words were needed. I then found myself at Wyatt's place later after Dean had left and the conversation was as it was most times..me, ever willing to give up the world for him even if it made me look like a wretched whore of a woman and him trying ever so politely to do what was right. Outside of a few teasing moments and nothing more, he made it perfectly clear he didn't want me to ever walk away from him again..and even ventured into what if's. What if we could be together...I don't believe what ifs are good enough for me. I am afraid I may possibly wait forever for that man to give me as much of his heart as I am so willing to give him. I should have come back home, sorted things out, maybe even moved out, but I stayed. Not only because he asked me to, but because I wanted to and as I slept in his arms last night, I never felt so complete and so at ease. I asked him before I left this morning what he wanted from me, hoping he would give me something to go on. Somehow help me sees some things more clearly. "I'll let you know when I figure it out myself"..he says. My head screams to run as far away as I can and seclude myself away from all possibilities of this man. That this was no answer at all. M heart..well, my heart is screaming something entirely different...