I Think I Want To Marry You

  Okay, so this may be one of many random blogs. As if my first one wasn't a bit on the random side of things. I came home from work this evening and I was shown a video of an epic flash mob proposal. Mind you, I am the first one to tell you to screw it, men are the epitome of evil. But that is simply basing my own crap experiences and placing it on the general population of dudes. Stories saved for a much later time, if you stick with me that far! 
  I don't know about guys, because they are creatures I find extremely difficult to understand. But, ladies? Raise your hands up and don't deny it, we all yearn for that fairy tale..some where along the way we are jaded and learn these are stories that simply don't exist in the real world. So disheartening when we realize. *sniffles* Some part of us clings to the idea though, somewhere in the back of our minds. I won't say ALL women feel this way, but I am most assuredly not alone in this thought process. So, yes...despite my horrid failure at romance/love..I hope to someday find someone to love me for me, to argue as passionately with me as they love me, as passionately as I can love them. Of course, I must find my own happiness first before I can share it..but ahh..what i wouldn't give for the epic proposal that brings tears to my eyes. To have someone to share so many tender moments with. 

  I know of one such epic fairy tale that was created in my days of role playing, which, if my creative juices truly get going I may turn into a short story that I can blog for you...and then I would invite you, dear reader(s) to let me know what you think. But, do me somewhat kind...this heart is still fragile.for so many different reasons! So..sweet dreams to all..and many happily ever afters..

Arms Wide Open? Not..

  So, if you are a optimistic kind of girl, I guess you would see the glass as half full. On the other hand, if you see the glass as half empty, then you're considered a pessimist. But, my dear reader(s), there is a third choice. The glass is neither, it is merely an illusion and there is nothing in it at all. Of, course this upon further inspection of said liquid in the glass that you realize you have been deceived. Just a slightly different look on things. The way I normally see things. I have put of blogging for at least couple of weeks, trying to convince myself that I had to be in the right frame of mind, or is that write frame of mine? I suppose the choice of words could be debatable. Is there really a right frame of mind to blog? Apparently not if I choose to simply use this like a dear diary type of blog. So bear with me when the pessimism really creeps in or when I find something that makes me shine. I am simply trying to find my writing muse again and my zest for life.

  Embracing life...living life..enjoying life. However you care to phrase, it seems I have lose what it means to be enthusiastic, to live life to its fullest, and to enjoy the first drawn breath if each new emerging day. How does that happen? How do we lose that zeal for grabbing each day and seizing it? I am guessing I could find a million and one reasons to blame it on, but I am no fool and know it starts within myself first. In the end, this is what I am hoping this blog will lead to..some days of random meaningless chatter, times to air something that may be going on in my life, and times when I find something to rejoice and share. A journey, hopefully to discover who I am, who I was meant to be. I don't think this means losing the basic kind and loving person that I am. Someone who tries to embrace everyone who comes into her life. It does mean, finding reasons to love life again, to get out and be among more of my species..oh, the horror of that thought. :o :) 

I ask you to bear with me on this journey of some self discovery, because I doubt I will always be so..melancholy or level headed. After all, you never know who you may meet along your journeys..who may have words of advise you'd never thought of..who may be the one to finally smile just enough to say..hey, this isn't so bad after all!